Don't Say 'I Love You'
by dreams and desperation
Summary: Maybe she's just too broken... Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games


There's a frosty breeze in the air, and Finnick sits on a rock by the river. It's safe here, and they can talk. It's not long until he feels himself falling off the rock and breaking the layer of ice over the water.

"Don't push me!" he says to his laughing companion as he climbs up the bank.

He goes to push her in as revenge, but she's soon to point out in a matter-of-fact manner, "I can't swim remember?" and he can't argue with her valid point. She takes a fluffy towel and a pair of pants from her bag, and passes him them. "Here, you might be needing these."

"Where's the shirt?" he asks, puzzled. She smirks.

"I thought you wouldn't need one..."

"Ha ha. Very funny, now give it me." He's sure that even she wouldn't make him go topless on such a cold day, but he's wrong, and she holds the back upside down for him to see. He glares, "You're a devil, Jo. That's just pure evil."

"I know. Look, do you want to get hypothermia? Change out of your wet clothes."

He isn't at all quiet when he mutters, "It seems you're intent on giving me hypothermia anyway."

She takes off her coat, revealing a cosy sweater beneath, and throws him the winter jacket. "Here then. I guess I'll just freeze to death instead..."

He catches the coat and goes into the edge of the forest to get changed. Though he's trying to hide, he knows fully well that Johanna will be watching him - she's like that. Sure enough, he can hear her giggle when he takes off his shirt, and he's thankful that the coat covers him if he changes his pants facing the opposite direction.

When he comes back to the river side, he is still shivering and she wraps him in such a tight hug that he feels he can barely breathe, and it's a struggle to push her off him. "Jo, you're suffocating me..." he chokes out.

"Oh. Right," she says as she takes a step back from him to let him recover from the hug attack. She reaches out to hold his hand but he pulls her in for a kiss. They break apart for a moment to breathe, and all she can say is, "Goodness, I've missed you so much!" They kiss for a few more seconds, before standing with their faces barely an inch apart from each other's, and she giggles.

"I lo-" he begins, but Johanna's having none of it.

"Shh." She distances her face just a few inches, but they're no longer sharing breaths as she places her finger on his lip. "Don't say it," she whispers, and it breaks him inside. He gets that she's scared of falling in love, that in her mind she thinks it'll only result in more harm, but he's struggling. How can he be with her, if she won't love him? Answer: he can't.

He takes a few steps backwards and looks her straight in her eyes as he says, "Jo, I can't do this any longer..."

"Can't do what, Finnick?"

"Us. I can't do... I just don't see how we can make us work together, when you're so scared of seeing people in this way."

She's silent for a while, stunned, but then she sadly nods. "I get it. You want a girl who can see the future, who can imagine it having you in it, as a couple forever. I get it, and I know I'm not that girl. I've been scared that you would say that for a while, and I don't hate you for it, no, I'm grateful, really. Grateful that I ever got anywhere close to how normal people feel, but that can never be me, not after everything that I've lost, after seeing how dangerous love can be. And I hope you find someone else, who can love you that way back, because you deserve that, an- oh, gosh, I'm going on." Johanna sighs, and her eyes fill with tears. "The thing is," she sobs, realising how much she really does care about him, "don't just leave me. I know it isn't working like this, but let's stay friends. I don't know how I'd cope without anyone, and if you abandon me completel-"

"I could never abandon you, Jo, just because we won't be together in that way, it doesn't mean that I'm just going to stop spending any time with you," he says as he kisses her again, but this time it's on her forehead. She hugs him tightly and the coat becomes soaked with tears.

"Why did they ever make us do this in the first place? The Games, that is. They've ruined me, Finnick..."

"Goodness only knows, Jo. All I know is that neither of us deserved this... we should have had happy lives, not hell..." She's not listening now, she's too consumed in her own tears that she can't see the solitary one running down his face.

"I'm going to leave now..." she says, and leave she does, slowly walking back through the forest.

Finnick runs his fingers along the sleeve of the coat he's wearing - her coat, usually so loose fitting on her but he can barely fit it on his own frame - and wraps his arms around himself, pretending it's her he is hugging, not wanting to accept that he finally admitted that it needed to end. He can barely see her now, but he can't help but do the one thing she never let him do. "I love you, Jo, and I always will..."


End file.
